Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Careering out of control !

There it sits. Beckoning. All I have to do is cross it. Seems so simple on the surface, and yet it is terrifying. Dramatic change in my life tends to cause this. I would rather it come in subtly, over time, on cat's paws like fog. I have many times just crossed with no forethought or care and worked it out on the other side as best I could. This time feels more dramatic. Could it be the fear based society that has overcome us in the last 10 years or so has taken root in me ? I have never considered myself fearful. Do I have more to lose now ? In a society based on consumerism, yes I do. Change for the sake of change seems foolhardy at best. A change based on need is simple. A change based on want depends on the want. Would it not be great to wake up and have it all done without the second guessing and the doubting stares of friends and relatives, without the self-torture, without the fear?

I think something/someone is telling me something that I need to hear.

It is time to cross the bridge.

Thanks again to Shami, Walter, and Tom for a successful Saturday at Burke Cigar.
Next post we'll talk about local shows that my wife and I will be in as well as observations on ART and artists. What a crazy bunch we are !

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Before my ramblings, a huge THANK YOU to Shami and everyone at Burke Cigar as well as Walter of Perdomo. You all really helped me make sense of a lot of things this weekend and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You can count on me to be a dedicated customer for life !

It can be so easy to deceive yourself. I've done it for way too long and I am tired of it. Rationalization for any bad situation can be bad for your overall well being. I am fascinated by Stockholm Syndrome. It makes me wonder how anyone subjected by it overcomes it. What processes are utilized ? How many people just bootstrapped themselves back to what was normal for them ? And of these people, how many were permanently changed for the better after recovery ?
I have had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. I met new people in a positive environment, made new friends, realized who my friends are, and ENJOYED myself. It is amazing the energy created by being around positive, happy people doing what they love. It is depressing to be around people who don't give a shit and don't care who knows it. Mike Singletary, new coach of the 49ers, is definately my most interesting person this weekend. He sent his $24 million player to the showers because he did not want to be part of something better. Rather than putting up with excuses and BS, HE took a stand and said, "NO !" It takes courage to be successful.
"Why do we suck?"
"We've sucked for years."
"Oh. OK. Why don't we get better?"
"I don't know, We just don't."
"Oh, OK."
No, not OK. It is time to take control and not put up with whatever.
Don't let the bastards win.
I won't.
Reflections do not show what is truly real, for only we know what is inside.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Life's a lot like this

Cold, can't get your nose to stop running, sweaty under 32 layers of clothing, bruised, sore, tired, excited, happy. It's just a normal miserable best day EVER !
Starts out slow, but that changes real quick. Hurts ? Yeah, but I ain't stopping. It's just too damn much fun and I refuse to wuss out. Fear and common sense are your enemies and should not hold you back. Excited or scared ? Can't really tell. They both kinda feel the same and I really want to do this so let's go. If we all eat the $#i7, that would suck. But IF we all made it, how glorious would it be ? Risk/reward. Who ate the first lobster and what did their friends say when it happened ? Was it on a bet ? Was the person really hungry ? Who, in this so-called enlightened age, would be willing to brave the claws and shell, not knowing what is in store ?
Zen Masters and teachers from many forms of religion talk of seeing the world through the eyes of a child. It certainly simplifies things. Do you think these guys are having fun right at this moment ? Do you really think they thought of all the bad things that could happen if things went sideways ? Or, do you think they looked down the hill and said, "Let's GO !" ?
I think we should ALL just go. It's the NOT knowing that makes it cool.
What one man can do, another can do. The path will probably be different, but it can be done.
Redneck's famous last words, "Hey Bobby, watch this !" I can tell you from personal experience, Bobby watched with awe.

P.S. They all survived with bumps and bruises and continued going down the hill again and again until their parents were ready to go.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Yeah, Right

Blogging. I love blogging. The release of one's thoughts upon the world. Opinionated ? Yes I am. Questions ? I have many. What happened to common sense, moral outrage, and personal responsibility ? I didn't think THAT would happen. Things are easy if you simply do not care. It's not my fault..... all useless answers that I hear daily.

I seem to consistently take the difficult path. Does this make me an idiot or a better person ? My "normal" is not your normal as it should be. I endure physical pain every day to the point where I have to set a baseline for what is too much. I assure you, it is a pretty stout line. Yet, I look at others and know some have it far worse than I. I could burden people with the tales of pain and woe that I endure, but most would not be believed. I have tried before. Usually, the look of boredom on the person's face is a sign that the subject must be changed. So I go through life with what appears to be a perpetually pissed off expression. I either hurt or am in deep contemplation. I also look EXACTLY like my father who has the same expression. Genetics, what are you going to do ????

I love photography. All types. Well, maybe not weddings because of all the tension caused by all of the money spent on barely competent people and things that have spun out of control at a mind numbing pace. Outside, sports, people; it's about freezing a moment in time, creating a catalyst for conversation or analysis, or simply because it is beautiful. I try to show things that are there but overlooked, the tree despite the forest if you will.

I hope it is enjoyed.